Tough Guise

Kimmel argues that masculinity is a socially constructible and historically shifting idea. This is a good thing because it allows men to have the ability and capacity to act. They have a sense of being able to replace the feeling of being overcome and discouraged and replace it with power and positive ideals.

Kimmel shows us that masculinity is basically a popularity contest. This in turn entails men constantly seeking the approval of other men in just about every facet of life. They don't want to be seen as "sissy" or not manly enough so they have to do all they can to disprove those two ideas. Whether its sleeping with as many women as they can, drinking a lot, driving fast, wearing certain clothes, being the strongest or fastest, or dating the hottest girl they know- all these lead to the race for the top, the award for being the most masculine. It's a giant competition between friends and strangers, there are no rules except to be the best and not be a sissy.

"Homophobia is a central organizing principle of our cultural definition of manhood." Essential homophobia can be seen as not being masculine or not being the most masculine. It's not being a "real man". It brings fear into the lives of men. I had never realized men were as self-conscious as they are. Women are always the ones who are worried about their appearance and what their friends or other girls will think of them. You never hear men talk about, "Oh, I can't go out of the house looking like this. People will judge me!" or "My muscles aren't as big as the guys sitting on the other side of the bar. Maybe I should work out more." But apparently they do. It's just a matter of it not being voiced- but the concern is still there.

Also, on topic of homosexuality, Kimmel brought up a very good point regarding how it is possible to tell whether or not a man is gay. It's mostly stereotypical answers that really don't define anything. I know people that "talk gay" and are straight. It's just the sound in their voice that may make you think they are gay. And also, I have quite a few gay friends, and I never actually knew they were gay until they told me. There are so many different typed of people in this world and I really hate the fact that we are so judgmental and want to label each person we come in contact with. I know I'm guilty of labeling people that I see, I just hate the fact that we do it.

Tough Guise is showing yourself only as what the dominant culture has defined as manly. Strong, independent, athletic, and tough to name a few. It defines manhood. So you have a lot of pressure to conform. The media constructs violent masculinity as a norm in our society. The stats that he showed during this video shows that between 85 and 99% of most violent activity is caused by males. It has to do with their emotional and relational lives of masculinity. It's okay to be emotional to a single girl or small group, but when lots of men are around they have to put up a front as a survival mechanism.

As a community or personally, we have to uncover the tough guise. Not only men have to uncover it. But we have to do something as well. Girls and women have to show they do not validate this behavior. Institutions need to break the monopoly of the media.